One Year Later Alone

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Posted by: Gma_Joyce Original: 7/6/2009 2:42 AM Views: 26 Comments: 11 eProps: 12 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

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2 eProps from: Michellereneewrites4Christ twoberry royal_diadem murisopsis slccole ZSA_MD

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Monday, July 06, 2009

This past weekend marked the first anniversary of my widowhood. That is a real word and state of being! The sadness with lumps in the throat and tears come much less often now. My oldest daughter, Val (“murisopsis" to her Xanga friends) came down to be with me. She kept me occupied and too busy to dwell on sad memories, but we did talk a lot and shop a lot too. My daughter said this year was not only a celebration of our nation’s birthday but really a celebration of Independence Day for Daddy too….freedom from the pain and chains of this earthly life. The last day his life was July 5^th. I’d spent the night before at his bedtime, holding his hand and talking to him about our half century plus of life together. Those final hours of our life together are a permanent part of my heart and memory now.

On my kitchen table is my mother’s hundred year old antique glass pitcher filled with blue and pink hydrangia from the new bush in the shade garden and Shasta daisies from the church altar bouquet in memory of my husband. A bouquet of red carnations and fern are next to his ashes….and like the Betty White character “Rose” on the Golden Girls, I find myself talking still to my departed husband every day. I suppose this will gradually cease as time passes.

Posted 7/6/2009 2:42 AM - 26 Views - 12 eProps - 11 comments

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11 Comments

Visit Michellereneewrites4Christ's Xanga Site!

Thinking and praying for you on this difficult anniversary

In Christs Love

Michelle~

Posted 7/6/2009 3:22 AM by Michellereneewrites4Christ

- reply

There's something almost magical about the one-year anniversary. Until then, every calendar day is the first "Christmas without," the first "July 1 without," and so forth. I lost Marvis on Feb. 14, 1991, and I still remember the day I suddenly had a spring in my step when I walked out to the curb to check the mailbox. Valentine's Day is tough, of course, but back in '99 when I was first dating Barbara, she won my heart by suggesting that we attend a concert to be held on Feb. 14, but that she knew I might not want to go because it was eighth anniversary of a difficult day. I've been lucky to have two great loves, and you may be, too.

Condolences and best wishes.

Posted 7/6/2009 6:11 AM by twoberry

- reply

i am sorry that your husband is no longer with us. but it sounds like you made sure he knew how lucky he was. in this day and age, one can only wish for love like yours...

Posted 7/6/2009 6:21 AM by royal_diadem - reply

You know how I feel. I refuse to be sad and just keep holding the images of him laughing at the Roadrunner cartoons, or the silly faces to make babies (any babies) laugh, as well as the concentration during card games....

Posted 7/6/2009 12:52 PM by

murisopsis

- reply

@murisopsis -

Me too! But I have other memories too. Your have a very healthy outlook regarding life and death too, honey.

Posted 7/7/2009 1:29 AM by Gma_Joyce - reply

@Michellereneewrites4Christ -

@royal_diadem -

Thank you, ladies, for your kind comments. I do have so many good memories for all those years....and no regrets.

Posted 7/7/2009 1:40 AM by Gma_Joyce - reply

@twoberry -

Thanks for your comments and sharing too. I really have been blessed....having a wonderful loving husband and daughters. Everyone should be as fortunate as I (and from your remarks...as lucky as you too.)

Posted 7/7/2009 1:39 AM by Gma_Joyce - reply

This may sound strange. But as I watched Star Trek (TOS), I thought of Daddy. When I saw Mr. Spock make a certain raised eyebrow movement, I got misty eyed! And as a saw in a magazine a tribute to Michael Jackson, he was wearing white socks -- JUST LIKE MY DAD! It is funny how we see glimpses of those we love and miss in so many places. He is certainly not forgotten.

Add to the list of laughing at Roadrunner, making funny faces, raising that eyebrow like Spock and white socks. I will always think of him when I see these things.

Posted 7/7/2009 10:00 AM by slccole - reply

Thinking of You...

How well you celebrate his life Joyce. Your memories are your strength. I wish you health and decades of love in your children and their children.

Posted 7/12/2009 12:03 AM by ZSA_MD

- reply

@ZSA_MD - Thank you, Zakiah, for being one of the friends who have encouraged me this past year. I do have lovely memories that make me smile. God has blessed me with such a supportive group of friends and family members who make sure I don't feel all alone in this world. I should revise the title to the post and remove the word "alone" from it. Thanks also for the mini and the good wishes. (I hope the same for you too!)

Posted 7/12/2009 12:32 AM by Gma_Joyce - reply

@slccole - Me too, honey!

Posted 7/12/2009 12:33 AM by Gma_Joyce - reply