Voters as well as those who merely watch and refuse to participate in campaigns and elections have all complained about the mean political climate and the polarization of people and parties. To be sure, the name calling, insults and dirty tricks have been going on for a long time….I suspect ever since the first caveman decided he should try to get his fellow cave dwellers to back him as the leader of their cool dark domain….and then was challenged by another hairy feller dweller of said cave. They probably used clubs instead of grunt and gesture diplomacy to solve who would be head honcho. Some things don’t change much, and often it seems we’ve not come very far from those days of bashing. Hopefully nowadays most of it is verbal although the news did report some of the meaner and more physical altercations that took place during the recent mid-term elections. In light of that, I think we should get back to the more cerebral ways of dissing those with whom we disagree. Use brains instead of brawn….and ditch those misspelled rally signs showing Obama as Hitler. Here are some good put downs from some well known people past and present for you to ponder and perhaps even adopt for your own if the occasion should arise…..I especially love the last one on the list. Maybe you can share some too.
When Insults Were Cerebral
An exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison,” and he said, “If you were my wife, I’d take it.”
A member of Parliament to Benjamin Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
Walter Kerr: “He had delusions of adequacy.”
Winston Churchill: “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” “A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
Clarence Darrow: “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway: “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
Ernest Hemingway about William Faulkner: “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
Moses Hadas: “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I shall waste no time reading it.”
Abraham Lincoln: “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
Mark Twain: “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Oscar Wilde: “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.”
Winston Churchill in Response: “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
Stephen Bishop: “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
John Bright: “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
Irvin S. Cobb: “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
Samuel Johnson: “He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”
Paul Keating: “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
Jack E. Leonard: “There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
Robert Redford: “He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
Thomas Brackett Reed: “They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
Charles Count Talleyrand: “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
Forrest Tucker: “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
Mark Twain: “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Mae West: “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
Oscar Wilde: “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
Andrew Lang (1844 – 1912): “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… For support rather than illumination.”
Billy Wilder: “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
Groucho Marx: “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”
And my favorite one is my dad’s remark about a stupid politician: “His brain is the size of the little end of nothing whittled down to a point!”
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