January 19, 2010
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Great Truths
Great truths that little children have learned:
1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2. When your Mon is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a dust- buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10. The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.
Great truths that adults have learned:
1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3. Families are like fudge..mostly sweet with a few nuts.
4. Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held it’s ground.
5. Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
Great truths about growing old:
1. Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
2. Forget the health food, you need all the preservatives you can get.
3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4. You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5. It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6. Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes, to be honest, age comes all alone.
The four stages of life:
1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.
Success…..what goes around comes around:
At age 4, success is….not piddling in your pants.
At age 12, success is….having friends.
At age 17, successis….having a driver’s license.
At age 35, success is….having money.
At age 50,success is….having more money.
At age 70, success is….having a driver’s license.
At age 75, success is….having friends.
At age 80, success is….not piddling in your pants.
In conclusion:
Take time to live because life goes by really fast and sometimes is too short!
Comments (22)
That’s wonderful. Thanks for the laugh. The bit about needing all the preservatives you can get seemed very timely as the founder of Taco Bell just died at age 86. One wonders how many runs to the border her made in his years!
Great mash up of all those email! Still made me chuckle…
Ha! I needed a good laugh. Thanks.
CUTE!
@thundertigers_1 - And oh so true. I’m in a Senior Citizens’ exercise group at the Y, and some have trouble remembering which foot is left or which arm is right! The stretch yoga stuff is easy however.
@christao408 - I was lazy so posted these received from my “chronologically gifted” friend who hates to be called “elderly” or “senior.”
@murisopsis - I didn’t want to throw it away so decided to share those words of wisdom. You could have put them in poetic form but, alas and alack, I don’t have my daughter’s talent.
@lightnindan - Glad it met your need to have a good laugh. Just remember also that growing old also gives you a good excuse for drinking a glass of red wine every night before retiring……or at dinner……or, heck, whenever you feel like it…..for your health, of course.
I like the Success ones. So true!
What a compendium! Perfectimundo!
I love all the life lessons…humor sprinkled with wisdom.
I wish all life’s wisdom came so pleasantly packaged.
You cannot hear me laughing or clapping. What a wonderful read on a damp, dreary, foggy, sunless and yucky Illinois afternoon!! Thank you.
Ha! These are wonderful. The first section had me laughing out loud.
very funny and true
@icepearlz - Glad you visited
@twoberry - Thanks….like those big words too.
@C_L_O_G - Me too! But it seems sometimes we just have to learn those lessons the hard way.
@ZSA_MD - I’m happy it cheered you. We’ve had some gloomy weather here also altho’ the fog looks kind of interesting just hate driving in it.
@MooncatBlue - Thanks for stopping by. I wish I could write like you and the others do. But I’m glad to share some of the pithy little things that come my way…..is “pithy” the right word….is it still in the dictionary? I’m getting old for sure!
@gargantuangirl - Glad you stopped by. I enjoyed the photos on your site by the way. Hope you got a hug today!
@ZSA_MD - Forgot to thank you for the mini. Appreciate it!
@Gma_Joyce -
Seems that way. lol
Perfect. Success in your case is assembling a line-up of only the truest and wryest of quips. And your piece on Howard Zinn is moving also. A site worth reading.
@jsolberg - Thank you so much. I enjoyed visiting your site also and reading the comments you’ve made on daughter Val’s site (aka “murisopsis”). My niece, Val’s first cousin, lives in Israel also.
@Gma_Joyce -
Thrilled to read your nice comment this mid-eastern morning. I’d be delighted to meet Val’s cuz. It’s really a small country here: mebbe I already know her?, ha. Your daughter is a true source of pride, I’m sure; a delicious apple who fell not only close to the tree, but possible hard-by the actual trunk? (To stretch a metaphor) JS/ the Sharon area (Netanya/Qadima)
Really enjoyed reading these and thanks to Christao for
recommending you to me.
@Chatamanda - You are MOST welcome. I don’t post daily as my daughter Val (aka “murisopsis”). I will recommend HER posts to you if you haven’t visited yet http://murisopsis.xanga.com
Hello again Joyce, sorry I’ve not got back sooner, gee thinks really took off this past week -
I can’t believe it Lol ! Yes I ‘have’ met your daughter along the way. Nearly certain Chris gave me her name too at the same time he gave me yours. I forgot to mention last time I was here that I’ve only just started blogging, so still getting used to things. Need to get a bit more organised. Anyway I shall subscribe to you so I remember you in future.